FEMA ORDERS 2500 GALLONS OF HYDROGEN CYANIDE FROM BRAZIL

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has ordered 2,500 gallons of hydrogen cyanide from Brazilian chemical manufacturer Askell Quimica, says a FEMA employee wishing to remain anonymous. The agency, he said, solicited bids from fifteen foreign manufacturing plants before selecting Quimica as a supplier. This…

FEMA Detains Displaced HAWAIIANS

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has targeted displaced citizens who fled their homes under a mandatory evacuation order following Mt. Kilauea’s catastrophic eruption earlier this month, says a FEMA agent speaking under condition of anonymity. Residents of Leilani Estates, an affluent neighborhood threatened by…

FEMA Aresenal Discovered At Cleveland WalMart

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is hoarding a massive cache of firearms in at least one Cleveland area Wal-Mart, says an employee wishing to remain anonymous whom accidentally stumbled upon an enormous quantity of military-grade weapons in a chamber normally secured behind digital lock…